Sunday, July 30, 2006

Traffic in my head

This must be one of the strangest Sundays I've spent in a very long time. T has been away on a charter hence occupying almost no space in my day or head, best friend went to Amsterdam for the weekend, taking much of the ongoing tension with her, the people left in town are blissfully detached and chilled, well, most of them are anyway. So as a result of this I've spent this weekend living mainly in my head... I've been reading all these random blogs (as you do when you start blogging I guess) and all these random thoughts keep floating around in my head. About religeon, love, relationships, roots, cultures, countries, so many random thoughts, too fast for me to write down or recollect later.
My back is being a bitch too. Lower back pains that are just getting in the way of me going about my day, I went out for a walk in Juan les Pins (the agamy of the cote d'azur) which I hate but went there to take at least one look at the shops this year. So many random thoughts...

I could fall in love and get married in less than a year
I never want to settle down
Hmmm..... G
Oh God I forgot how Agamy this place is
Should I get my back checked when I go home?
Hey, I'll be home in less than a week isa
God I miss ma
I wonder if I'll get to see my boss...
Hey, work, haven't thought about that in ages, am I too chilled about that?
Need to work harder, be more innovative, read more material, need more energy
It really is hot today, should I go for a swim? am not looking at the shops anyway, this must be the definition of absolute disinterest
Wonder if G will be online tonight, wonder if he missed me when he was on his vacation
wonder if that story could ever go the way I would want it to
wonder how I would handle the religeon issue if that ever happened
religeon....hmmmm..... no no, wont think about that now, too messed up

and then the sound of an sms.... T!?!?! How strange, he had given up that form of communication ages ago... "ready to be kidnapped now..." in response to a 3 day old message. I laughed out loud at the endearment of his self-centeredness, and for the millionth time smiled at our relationship that only two people as contradicting as us would be able to sustain for 9 months without someone getting seriously resentful....

Shit, 9 months???? It's been that long?
wonder if I'm missing out on the chance of real love by dating T
Instantly disregard the thought as nonsense, which it is

Head to beach for lovely swim, more traffic in the head....

Just had to go home and blog about this state of chaotic peace, and maybe nap before I pick up best friend from airport...


still breathing said...

OMG how do u do that?
i mean, u can actually type up random thoughts roaming in ur head!! that's amazing!
(i never succeeded in doing that myself)

N said...

Lol. Maybe you're not crazy enough :)