Wednesday, January 23, 2008


I promised you that i would love you
every day that i would live
I promised you that my hands
would always find and ease your pain
I promised you that i would smile
every day you spent with me
I promised you that i would stay
no matter what, that i would stay
I tried
oh how i tried
Only to wake up one day finding
that when i promised
I must have lied
There was no air;
My skin could no longer bear your whipping
I could no longer watch the dripping off my back
onto your floor
And i left
And broke the ties that held my soul
in its place right next to you
I tried my love, i really tried
Seems when i told you i needed nothing -
I must have lied
I found myself one day breathless
and my soul found itself homeless
And my softness for you
squirming in its pain just died
Seems when i promised i needed nothing
I must have lied

September 05

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Recurring Thought over the Years

If i love you am i trapped forever?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

The Benchmark

It's true; the more people you date, the pickier you get. Once upon a time i used to be oblivious to people's faults, i would only see what made them sunny and charming, once upon a time indeed.
I have been getting out much more in the past few weeks, i've ran into people i hadn't seen in years, i've met new people, and i've had conversations with people i always knew but never really got to talk to, and since i am absolutely uninterested in dating at the moment, i have naturally been getting advances left right and center, for some reason this is how the world works.
So a nice enough guy starts talking to me, and ten minutes into the conversation i can only think of how i am going to exit this conversation. I never thought i was vain, but i'm afraid i must be, it is not natural that i find almost every guy i talk to either too cocky, or too boring, or too chatty, or too fickle, or too shallow, or too vulnerable, or too something that will make him unstimulating. It's like i have a sensor that goes off when i pick up on a trait that i know doesn't sit well with me, it's as if through the gazillion guys i have dated all i have been doing is accumulating character traits that turn me off! You see the first guy you date, you don't know that him being pessimistic could actually spoil it for you, the second guy you date you make sure that he isn't pessimistic, but have no clue that him being full of himself will bore you to death, the third guy you date you make sure he is not pessimistic and not full of himself and after three weeks you can't tolerate his temper for one more day that you have to bail. So what i know now is that i can't be with anyone who is pessimistic, whiny, chatty, passive, dependent, lazy, stingy, bad tempered, possessive, cruel, a high school dropout, sexist, irrational, controlling, rigid, judgmental, hesitant, promiscuous, gay, manipulative or a liar.
And thats what i know, imagine what i don't know...
I put this snobbishness of mine down to being fresh out of a messy dramatic breakup, and thought; ok, since you are in a good place and so off dating, just hang out with your close friends and have fun. So i did that, and then bam! My best guy friend of 100 years pulled a stunt on me and suggested the development of our friendship into more. I have known this guy for 8 solid years, and now i find myself looking at him as one would a nicely wrapped package that you can hear ticking because you are absolutely sure there is a bomb inside. My first thoughts when he told me where, oh shit, now you are going to turn into something absolutely devastatingly intolerable that i am yet to discover... while my mom and friends look at me in bewilderment that i am not jumping at the chance to land such a great guy.

I think i am turning into one of those guys who see any form of a relationship as a potential hazard and an eternal threat to their peace of mind. I so get you guys now! I have alot of single ahead of me, i hope...

P.S: i said almost every guy, some conversations are still fun, thank god for that.

Friday, January 11, 2008

To Dye or not to Dye

My hair color is back to its natural shade, thanks to non ammonia containing wash out dyes that eventually fade out only leaving a hint of the dark red i use (this information is only useful if at all interesting to female readers, and i'm aware of that), and now i am contemplating what to do next...

It is now a darkish brown that has a reddish and sometimes yellowish (can't say blondish) aura in the sun. Now i know very few of you have any clue of what i'm going on about as very few of you have seen me, but i am now wondering what to do with my hair color so indulge me.

The options are:
1. Dark red again (as per picture on left)
2. Leave as is and stay on the dark brown conventional side for the winter
3. Go lighter and get light brown/dark blond highlights, the key word here would be "subtle"

I am most inclined to option 2, it's been a while since i had my own shade, however, the red gets tons of compliments, and the lighter is something i've never done before so could be a nice change, however again, high lights must be done using ammonia, and ammonia fucks the hair.


Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Things I've learnt

  • Quitting when you're ahead is under rated
  • A good pizza is a rare commodity
  • First kisses almost always suck
  • Holding out is over rated
  • Hardly anyone ever returns the wine bottle after tasting it
  • Ice skating is not for everyone
  • An ego is only as large as you inflate it
  • Tequila doesn't go well with ka7k el 3eid
  • Rebounds work
  • If forgiveness is not possible, forgetfulness will do
  • Clever is sometimes very stupid
  • No one is keeping score
  • Credit cards are malicious
  • Time flies either way