Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Rest of My Life

I want to write for the rest of my life.
I want to write a book. A clever book that is insightful that you can't put down.
I want to write a book about people, and what they have to get through just by being people.
I want to start my own magazine. I want to rent a studio, paint it in bright colors and turn it into a buzzing magazine mania. And when i have kids i want to take them to work with me.

I am sick of being employed. I am loathsome of the business world. The top line, the bottom line, the expansion strategy, the development path, the remuneration strategy, the flip side, the product mix, the aging report, the positioning, the branding.

I want to write. I want to switch to mac and write in my terrace.

I hate money.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Ordinary Love Story - Tribute to K'

It was era's ago. I still wore baggy shirts and took my own notes.
It was two years before we spoke, two years of playing cards every day, a group of four, two of four.
We shared a hand, then shared a laugh, we were inseparable, at the card table that is.
I fell in anguish with his friend, he fell in need-fullness with a girl in my class. A new group of four, those were fun times.
I graduated, he graduated. He wore a band, my heart got crushed, unrelated incidents at the time.
I left the country, he drove me to the plane, he held my hand, he was my friend.
My heart got butchered, his girl left him for more cash. I picked up the pieces, we found comfort in picking up each others pieces. He was my best friend.
He took me to and from every plane that touched home. Little words, no touches save for twice in ten years, the touch of a hand when i left home and when my heart got butchered.
No kisses on the cheeks, no hugs, no looks. He was my bestest friend.
I fell in lust, i let myself ride the wind, i went here and there and let my hair down. Then i went home. He picked me up and took me home.
I lost faith, i swore off the whole thing, i was done. He was the only man i believed. He was my truest ever friend.
He waited. A while. A very little while. He spoke, he wanted, he saw, he knew.
A risk, two friends, of years and years. So much trust, so much love, so many pieces picked up along the way.
It was 6 months before i hugged him back. It was a 100 i love yous before i felt it too. It was a million reassurances before i could really give it a chance.
It was mostly hard for a very long time.

Today, we both smell like our washing detergent. I do not cook if he is not eating with me. I do not sleep if he is not next to me. I cannot sit far away from him. I cannot tolerate the thought of harm to him. My hands find him before i tell them to. My lips reach for him while i am half asleep. My heart goes to him whenever i am away from him. I am as he sees me. I am lovable because he loves me. I am good because he believes in me. I am safe because he is still my best friend. My truest ever friend.

I do not know how long it will last. A month, a year, a lifetime... I do know that today, we both believe it can last forever, and want it to. As naive as that is.

A tribute to you Kaf, may your doubts get overshadowed by your idealism, and may your heart leap in faith despite yourself.

Love you,