I am starting to dislike my best friend.
People are strange, almost everyone feels the need to dump on someone else, or take their shit out on someone, put them down, get their energy out of making you feel bad about yourself, even hurt you on purpose. The funny thing is this is very likely because you intimidate them as they have bellow the soil self esteem, the not so funny thing is that more often than not these are the people closest to you. More often than not the aggression is taken out on the only person that doesn't miss-treat them, that wont step all over them given the chance, most probably the person putting you down is passing it on to you from someone (or everyone) else.
Yesterday I took my best friend out for dinner to ease the tension created by my sudden awareness of the repetitiveness of this (I am quite delayed with these things), in hope that my awareness would partly solve the problem... and then bam, out of nowhere, mid conversation, she changes the subject to an especially uncomfortable topic for me (which I had been avoiding all night) and rubbed the salt on the wound. She pointed out a hurtful fact (that may or may not be true) about a third party, and basically ruined my night between my annoyance at the possible truth in this fact and most importantly my utter disgust at her for purposefully shifting the conversation to make a hurtful point, eyes steadily looking at me, and bitterness in her voice, then bouncing off to other topics once my face had successfully dropped. I always knew she had insecurity issues concerning me, but the malice (very probably subconscious) left me in serious doubt if I wanted to be this girl's friend anymore.
And in a true moment of isolation, I missed home, I missed my childhood girlfriends, who - with all their issues - never practice the domino effect with me or themselves.