Sunday, December 31, 2006

What Makes a Great Man?

When i was in my late teens i kept stumbling across the same remark from all the mothers of my friends, they were all variation of: "that girl will end up with a great man".
They were of course oblivious to my disastrous love life as i would've been banned from all of my friend's houses had they not been, however i assure you i have always had everything else in my life in order, they loved me and often looked at me with much emotion and that certainty that i would meet a great man.
Considering my dating record, even back then, i found these remarks comforting and accepted them as almost a given. If all these people say i will meet a great man then surely i must, my faith was near ridiculous, i didn't doubt them once.

When i hit 19, stuff happened, and out of nowhere i turned into this wild creature of curiosity.
I was going through my dating history with someone recently and he actually asked me: "what happened to Tom, Dick and Harry?" My answer was quite simple, never came across any of those, my answer should have been, i never chose any of those.
Now the clinch here is that as i was so sure i would meet a great man, i hardly ever doubted my choices, you see i was meant to meet a great man! And off i went choosing social misfits and retards, sailors and spoilt brats, and seeing only the things that made them great.

There were phases of course, the first was great because he dreamed, and he loved me utterly, many years later i understood he was full of shit and obsessive. The second was great because we were a team, we did everything as one person, many years later i understood that he was a parasite, and i was doing everything really, he just made it more fun by hanging around and being charming. So he was actually a great man for being charming? Yes yes, for a while at least.
Then came the Independence era, where the men who didn't give a damn were great. The man who could do without me yet chooses not to, i was fascinated by my new discovery of choice and Independence and severely rebelling against the dependant team era. Hence almost every choice of the past three years. These men were great because they were independent, today i understand that they are selfish and emotionally crippled, and are the most likely to end up alone. Now i understand that Independence and giving have nothing to do with each other.

Today i was on the train for more than 8 hours going to Venice and back, and trains make me ponder and wonder as i rest my head on the window and let my thoughts unroll. I was receiving text messages that made me smile all day, and my thoughts lead me to this question:
What makes a man, a great man?
Is it honesty? Is it straight forwardness? Is it intelligence? Is it integrity? Is it confidence? Is it the fun they have with you? Is it the respect they pay you? Is it the way they spoil you? Is it how they take care of their friends? Is it how they take care of you? Is it how much they want you to be happy? Is it how happy they show you they are just by being with you?

My mother always tell me that a great man will always make you feel good about yourself, and will always push you forwards.. But what does she know? She met a great man at 18!

I'd like to hear the people that come here tell me what they think.... through what you've seen and who you've been with, what makes a great man?


Haroun said...

"Great men are true men, the men in whom nature has succeeded. They are not extraordinary - they are in the true order. It is the other species of men who are not what they ought to be."

Henri Frederic Amiel

Will E. said...

All men have greatness and all men have weakness, men are great when they let their greatness overcome their weakness but at the same never forget that there is a weakness to overcome.

I think that people's perception of a man is what makes a man great in their eyes, but as for the man himself, he just does the best he could to figure out what life's about.. and certainly when he realizes that his contributions should not be just to himself, he's seen in a different light.

Anonymous said...

i would have to agree with ur mom on that one, sometimes it's hard to feel good about one's self, so if u have a man who makes u feel that way.. he's gr8 :) there's a lot of things i guess that would make a great man but unfortunately i can barely find one or two in each.. that's what makes them not so great all the time i guess..

Cairene said...

Most men can make you feel good about yourself. I don't think that makes them great. I think what makes a man great is the childhood in them first. If they can play, if they can forget than people around them exist and sing in kareoke with knowing they have an awful voice. If they have the curiosity and the sense of exploration like a child.
Most men I think are great don't give a shit about so much that people make a great deal out of. Great men I can think of never said a word about feminism, or respect. Respect flows out of them naturally, and disrespect from them is forgiven so easily!
The adult that lost the child in them have to greatness to them, because they have been refined too much to understand, to feel, to care.

Cairene said...

have *no* greatness to them-