Monday, March 19, 2012

The grateful list

I am down in the dumps. Riding a hate wave for my boss, heart broken over my mothers non stop battle with cancer and frustrated at the lack of joy in my life. I am down in the dumps with a bad throat ache as well. Squeezing myself to pay off the end of my debts, and juggling a million tasks to help the people around me, i am in a down, in a rut.

I am told that when you are this down you should count your blessings. I have tried everything else, so i might as well try this...

- My husband: who made me soup today before he went to work so i wouldn't have to cook while sick, who holds me every single night and talks to me about life and death and cancer and wipes my tears several times a week, with consistent patience. My husband is blessing number 1, 2 and 3.
- My friends: i have the most amazing friends, sisters, who have helped me raise hundreds of thousands of pounds for my mothers treatment, who have been with me and beside me all my life. They are always just a phone call away, unconditionally. I have four girls that are always just a phone call away.
- My home: i have a gorgeous, vibrant, sunny two bedroom apartment with a beautiful view. I love it, it has become my home.
- My job: though i really hate it at the moment, is a 15 minute drive away without traffic, with good pay and health insurance and a lot of great people to work with and solid on my resume. My job minus my boss is a blessing.
- My weight: I am only 8 kilos overweight. I choose to reposition this as a blessing as positioning it as a curse seems to not be working at all. 8 kilos to be done with by the summer. It is a blessing they are no more than 8.
- My writing: i have recently taken 2 writing courses that have put the hope back in me. With more courses and hard work i can actually realise my dream, it actually can happen one day.
- My summer home: by May 2013 i will have my own summer home (apartment) on the beach. 95m2 with a sea view that belong to me! By 2014 i will have a cream, beige and blue apartment to spend all my summer weekends in. That is surely a blessing.
- My love for life: surely i will snap out of this horrid mood soon......

I think it may have worked a little.....

4 comments:

PH said...

95m2 with a sea view...

poshlemon said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. I miss your writing... I think you should write more often and share more of yourself with us. It makes you vulnerable to your readers but what the hell, isn't that what writing is about?

I want to add that: God bless your husband, God bless your husband, God bless your husband. There is nothing more beautiful than having a man who protects you and loves you and looks after you - especially when you need it. You know, it takes a real man to make a real woman.

And God bless your friends and all those who love you. And God bless your dreams...

Whatever happens, know that you are not alone in this.

Allah ykoun with your mama.

N said...

Poshlemon: your comments are so heartfelt, always. they are always a comfort. so much love to you.

PH: what is this recklessness? PH?

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