Tuesday, April 01, 2008

F You! (or it's equivalent in arabic)

I did something today that i never ever thought i would do, could do; i gave a man the finger while driving. He did nothing that is exceptional to Cairo driving etiquette, he was coming onto the mansoureya road from a side road too fast and was about to cut me off had i not swerved to the left and insisted on reserving my right to keep going as i was on the main road. But for some odd reason, i was in such a foul mood that i actually did what i have so often resisted doing, after he started cursing and throwing his hands around in protesting gestures, i looked him straight in the eye through my rear view mirror, and gave him the finger while mouthing profanities at him.
I felt a surge of liberation that lasted about ten seconds, after which i realized that i am on the mansoureya road, that this guy could very well jam his old car into my semi-new baby and attempt to scare me off the road into the horrendous ter3a bellow. I locked my doors and pressed on the gas, in what resulted in him lighting a cigarette and engaging me in a car chase that lasted all of 15 minutes where i displayed unbelievable driving skills that even i didn't know i had. I swerved between tractors, karetas and vespas which such smoothness watching him getting repeatedly frustrated as he kept getting stuck behind annoying obstacles with every "stitch" i took. My fear augmented with every near escape, as i was sure that if he caught up with me now he would surely screw me over. After fifteen minutes of this fear driven mania, i reached the highway where my baby gave me an easy outlet as his car is minimum 15 years older. As i unclenched my shoulders, I had to ask myself; was it really worth it? Was giving him the finger and the satisfaction it entailed worth the fifteen minutes of tension?

I dare say it was.

9 comments:

Daysleeper said...

AHAHAHAHA!

*snort*

good for YOU girl! it WAS worth it-- if not for the feeling of liberation and satisfaction it gave you-- for the next time the ass tries to cut off a girl :)

it just really makes me happy that he'll have to consider,

"do i reeeally want to waste gas and feel like i lost a testicle?"

ever since i met cairene i felt like it's almost an obligation for us to show we're angry when we can

i saw her pick up a guy from his collar once! and i know he's never...ever going to say anything to a girl again

bussy and sexual harassment protests are all well and good-- but what you did makes just as much if not more of a difference :)

N said...

:)

hey, when's your play?

Nora said...

I am sure it was worth it...
One of my hobbies is making male drivers feel like incompetant pieces of shit...

The greatest satisfaction I've felt was when I told a guy after he hit my car (I was not moving) and he blamed it on my incompetance...
"Umm, yeah... but my car was still.. so, umm, yeah... Well, anyway... it was nice to meet you. You're the first guy I've met in Egypt who doesn't know how to drive!"
He tried to pass me and prove his driving abilities... so I just laughed at him and proceeded to drive faster and better than him!

Jade said...

Yeah it's gotta be totaly worth it... I wish I was there actually with you in the car - I kinda found this post quite arousing & stimulating - you're a turn on :p

But now that we've said all we have - my voice of reason tells me to tell you to be safe - at the end of the day - that bastard isnt worth you crashing into another fucker on the road that makes the wrong just in time for your "stitch"

Cheers to that!

Zainab said...

was it the western finger or the egyptian finger? :p the egyptian finger is SO gross! especially when you wiggle the finger, ewwwww.

Mazen Mason said...

yea N...that was nothing short of brave..I give you that.

Those 10 sec. of liberation are undeniably priceless...Sometimes I even think they're the whole point of living. It's this rush that's felt after overpowering any fear that's priceless...your post reminded me of a similar incident I had on one of the notorious high ways here in Dubai where I was driving in the fast lane --the leftmost one - but obviously not fast enough for this maniac in his insanely huge JEEP behind me to stop HONKING his menacing symphony of destruction, declaring that I'd better get out of his way...or else? I needn't say that he was so darn close behind me that he was hogging my whole rear view and I bet that he actually thought that I bought his terrorizing threats of running over me. Well, he was in for a big surprise...a shocking one actually. As I took a deep breath...and made sure that our eyes locked then flipped the bird, all that while maintaining this vexing smile on my face.

The rest is known...he chased me for nearly 20 minutes. He seriously attempted to hit my relatively small vehicle...but in vain.

The acuteness and perspicacity of our churned-up minds in such extreme situations is beyond amazing...it's like they get overly over-clocked...the question now is: how can we get our mind to work like that throughout the rest of our lives? How can we extend those moments and stretch those 10 sec. & turn 'em into a lifetime style?

The answer had been pointed out once by Helen Keller before when she said "life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all".

Mazen Mason said...

Oh Gosh...did I already go overboard?

haijekov said...

hehehe :)
next time try doing that to a bus driver :P ... kiddin :)

keep that attitude up 3ammatan!! you hit two birds with one stone ... teach some assholes how to drive ... and a great adrenaline rush :D

just don't overdo it though ;)

nice page ... think i'll stop by often

Carmen said...

Just a couple of weeks ago I not only gave a guy the finger, but yelled at him to stuff his (bleeping) phone up his (bleeping) ass and go (bleep) his (bleeping) dog up the ass.

It was the most vulgar I've ever been.

Totally not proud of my potty mouth, but it was a visceral reaction.