Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Pedestals

One after one, i break my pedestals.
It is such a dangerous thing to have, a person on a pedestal.
I think i've always been anti pedestals, my friends used to tell me about their daydreams of boyfriends or crushes or celebrities, i was always strongly against that kind of day dreaming, of consciously idolizing people with fictitious thoughts.
"It's dangerous" i would say.
Yes, i have always been anti pedestals. I have only been stuck with getting rid of the ones that placed people on them all by themselves, out of naivete or youth, or conditioning.

The other day i found out that our happily married friend was being cheated on, i was not shocked, absence of pedestal for him, good.

A few days ago i discovered i had been lied to for no reason from someone i love, sadness, calmness, the choice to forgive, no pedestal there anymore.

I wonder how many people have me on a pedestal, i can spot a dozen, and i recognize the things in me that would shatter that pedestal for them in a second.

What dysfunctional tendencies us humans have.

9 comments:

Jade said...

Unlike you, I idolize people. Not celebraties & silly teenage things like that... no I mean people that I know or whom are close to me. & so many a times I have been crushed because someone I had on a pedestals turned out to be so unworthy...

Good for you.. keep it up. As for me, maybe I should start learning how to do that...

Nora said...

I used to have people on pedestals. Recently I have come to realize that they are not there anymore. The pedestals have been removed for many reasons...
Mainly being that I just don't want to think of people that way anymore.
I think I still have one person on a pedestal most of the time though... and he hates being there. We're both trying to make me stop that.
I have never stopped to think whether people have me on a pedestal or not... I hope they don't. I can also see many things to shatter the pedestal.

N said...

Jade: i think it's part of growing up.. not a very pleasant part.

Nora: not only do men hate being there (the sane ones at least) but we set ourselves up to get disappointed, they are just human after all.

the only person who deserves to be on your pedestal is you :)

Nora said...

Yeah, he tells me the same thing. He doesn't like it when I think he is perfect or whatever...
He tells me I am setting myself up for disappointment also.. and that I am putting a lot of pressure on him to fill expectations of perfection.
I think for the most part I have him off the pedestal... but sometimes I seriously canot help but think he is perfect! :o)
Anyway.. great post.. as are all of yours!

sumarai girl said...

sometimes you idolize a person because of his imperfections... when you can see them clearly and still regard this person as perfect, or at least perfect to you... but I guess you still get dissapointed doing that

Will E. said...

broke 'em all at age 13, realized that I had to aspire to what I would look up to and that no one would ever fill that position.. Even then I didn't mind looking up to people but no matter how high up I view people I always leave room for imperfections because I chose to look up to them for certain aspects and not get blinded by how good that aspect was, and it's okay that they have their weaknesses.. that shouldn't change my judgement, they're great for having convinced me that they possessed some kind of greatness even if it was limited.

insomniac said...

mmm, i think it's worst when u idolize ppl for their imperfections!! it's not like u shield urself from getting disappointed, it's more like u allow them to not even try making things better!! khalas, u do not just accept, but you idolize... it's an invitation to more disappointment..... that's how i feel anyway!!

Adrasteia said...

i dont understand the fear of pedestals.

i know people get on them and off them and force others on them and force them down.

a wooden crate in a crowded square can be a pedestal.

it's not the pedestals fault if people choose to talk and people choose to listen is it?

i dont think we should crush the crate because someone might say
the wrong thing or hear the wrong thing

i think we need glory and i think we need ideals and i think we need to be careful about people and not worry so much about pedestals

but that's just what i think :)

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

I learned very early that pedestals are worthless. I don't hold anyone in high regard (I know that's mean). I simply try to take everyone as they are. It prevents heart break and disappointment.

Really nice post, by the way!