Sunday, May 13, 2007

Frazzled

So i walk out of the place where i had been retreating for the weekend. I had just spent two days doing yoga, breathing techniques, meditating and listening to people's experience while they meditated and saw colors and fireworks (non of which happened to me) and actually hearing a man flutter in his place while he transcended and i resisted my temptation (several times) to break my mantra and open my eyes to watch him shake in his state of pure consciousness. It was my first weekend, after a three day course i took that ended Wednesday, i spent the weekend with around 40 people who had been meditating anywhere between decades to days.
I watched videos of lectures about knowing the self, experiencing the silence, being in the state of pure consciousness that is floating in what new physics now claims is the unified filed of all things.
Finally all the whacko stuff i believed in seems to have been scientifically proven and aligned with all religions!
As i am a new meditator (that is what they called me through out the weekend), i have been forewarned that the first stages of practicing this technique are turbulent. I was told i might experience mood swings, irritations, sadness, laughing, crying, etc etc etc...
Cockily, i was sure i wouldn't. Most of the people i know who had taken this course and started meditating are my friends from years, i knew them then, and know them now, and nothing that has been "revealed" to them was news to me. I knew i knew more than they did in their new state of awareness as i have been a dedicated reader of anything that has to do with the secret of being. Cocky, arrogant me was quite sure that the weekend would be quite the smooth sail.
So, come this evening, when i have checked out of the hotel after the retreat to head home, the menady came to collect his parking fee even though i am parked next to the ter3a outside hotel territory, and then walks off, then i back out of my parking spot (patch of sand) directly into an iron pole. Ironically the pole is short enough for me to not see it in my rear view mirror, and tall enough for it to cause a severe dent in the bumper and truck of my almost brand new car.
I step out of the car, i see the damage, the menady comes back. Now even though i have just been told for two days plus, that me, the menady, the car and that pole are all the same thing. That being mad at the menday is being mad at the source and the unified field, that me being upset over something in the relative (i.e my car in this world) is shallow and unevolved, i tell the menady that he is useless and shoo him out of my face, and then i cry for twenty minutes over having bumped my car all by myself, literally having had an accident with the pole in the street.

My fellow meditators (friends) smile at me knowingly, pat my back, tell me to "let it out", and assure me this is very normal after the first weekend as i am going through "purification".
I want to scream that no, i am really crying because i have bumped my brand new car! But they gang up knowingly in their circle of support. I swallow my tears, get back into my wounded car, and drive off in my grey cloud.

I don't know what is worse, to admit that all these people who have turned themselves into guru's and commercialized a traditional treasure are right, or to admit that i was sobbing over a dent in my car for twenty minutes like someone had just died...

12 comments:

Andrew said...

Sorry to hear about the car. I am not a very spiritual person so you lost me with much of this post, but I did enjoy reading it. I hope you have a grand weekend and I will stop in again soon.

Sincerely,
Andrew in Alabama
The 4th Avenue Blues

Hathor said...

I think U were rather 'meditating' over your 'wrecked' new car...
This is not at all a "purification" or "Nirvana' or "Mantra" class..
This is a pure "bullshit Nirvana" class that U were following... & that sounds very very hollow of meanings from your own words & terms stated in your post :))

Maat said...

loool
awww... sooo srry about your car, it was definitely the car!! not that i'm undermining the mantra-stuff.. but.. the car.. and the useless menady.. the dent.. i'd cry for the car!

Insomniac said...

i second maat, i'd cry for the car and probably yell at the menady for as long as it takes me to calm down.. then forget all about it by the time i am home!!

zoss said...

I don't know you to know what you were crying about, but here are a couple of questions for you: Would the situation have been any different if someone else had put a dent in your car? Would the situation be any different if the car was not "almost brand new"?


Two general comments:

Knowledge acquired through experience is qualitatively different from that which is acquired through symbolic reference (e.g. by reading). Like Alan Watts would say, the latter is like eating menus for dinner.

"...the state of pure consciousness that is floating in what new physics now claims is the unified [field] of all things.
Finally all the whacko stuff i believed in seems to have been scientifically proven ..."

I would not say "proven" (...and this is a much milder reaction than you would get from a lot of respectable scientists.)

N said...

wow. never expected that much commenting to this one!

andrew: thanks for dropping by!

hathor: thank you too! needless to say i did opt for the humorous side of the experince, but in all fairness, the people there were all very nice and friendly, and some were very quiet and normal about their stand from meditation and quite fascinating people, writers, multi national CEO's and quite the acheivers. I just could not help my annoyance with those who took it to a pretensious level.

Zoss: my car is something i worked two years straight abroad to be able to afford, so i guess i would've freaked more if i wasn't behind the wheel and not directly responsible for the dent.
About your comments, i agree with experiencing the knowledge, that's why i went and will continue to go, but it's hard to remove the brainwashed aspect of it to truly give it a go.
As for the "proven" part, my knowledge is 5 days old about this, but i saw an interview with Toni el Nader on TV with all his charts and data, this is the man linking the Maharishi theories of consciousness, to neurology to physics. Check him out for validation if you're interested. I am told that the fields were four to begin with, it is proven in labs that they can be limited down to two, and mathematically that they all come from the unifiled field.
This is what i have been told, if i pursue this to verify myself, i will update you.

Maxxed`ouT said...

Is it ok if i find this story hilarious?

N said...

yes, very ok :)

Faisal said...

Hope it doesn't cost much to fix.

At the end of the day, you live you learn and thankfully it wasn't worse, the little accident that is.

Good Luck transcendenting. I, personally, don't understand that sort of thing. Ya3nee fe3lan mabafhamsh el nas asdohom eh aslan.

zoss said...

googling Toni el Nader returns nothing...do you have any references?

N said...

Faisal: if i ever meet you, i will explain to you, its not that big a deal, you basically think a sound till you stop thinking..

Zoss: i will get you the name of his book the next chance i get.

Forsoothsayer said...

a third, and more likely, option is to accept that you're kinda nuts :)

it IS a hilarious story.

fais, if you ever did this, you would seize someone by the throat.