Peace

He gives me peace.
All of a sudden, it's so easy. I almost can't remember what i was struggling with all these years.
He always holds my hand.
He always gets the door.
He's always there should i need him.
He always wants to see me.

He gives me space.

He sits next to me for hours in silence, even though i know i am more secure in us, he lets me be.

He sleeps after and wakes up before me, a classic sign of more interest.
But he just holds me till i sleep or wake, and i don't mind.

I am enjoying the security of being with someone i can trust.

He doesn't lie. He's a know it all. We bicker like kids, and laugh about it later.

He doesn't mind my moods, or minds them and doesn't show it.

He's patient.
He watched me go through everything i went through.
He understands my turbulence.

He knows that he is the first man more stable than me to take me on.
He knows what that entails, patience.

Time for my turbulence to find peace in his stability.
Time for me to be ready to let myself fall one more time.

One more time.

We pick out wallpaper and tear down walls and pick out names.
And after i realize we're doing that he holds my hand and asks me not to freak out.
He reminds me that i have time.
That he is not going anywhere.

This is a nice place to be.

He gives me peace, and i am oh so thankful for it.

Kuwait

Three months ago i was offered to go to NYC to sub in a work function, i declined, i was just back from NYC, broke (paying off the trip to NYC), and i can't fly over the Atlantic twice in 1 year - fear of flying, vertigo and fear of heights. Last Thursday i was asked to fly to Kuwait as they needed someone last minute and my British passport means that i don't need a visa, making one of two people in the company who could sub in this function at such short notice, i accepted, i'm weird, i accept going to Kuwait and decline NYC, the reason? I wanted to go somewhere i had never been before.

I've been here 48 hours, i still don't have much to say about this country other than that it is so quiet and not crowded that i feel like i'm in a movie set not a city, and that its very strange being in a city where going for a drink is literally not an option.

This is a quick update for those emailing me asking where i've been. I've been working and going out and all the time i spend at home i catch up on missed sleep and try to watch the shows my mom tapes for me as fast as she tapes them! I have no tragic dramatic events to report for a change, but will figure out a way to turn my currently "normal" life to interesting posts.

Thanks for asking!

N